Call Your Sister and Ask for Help!
Last night I had a dream that I was lost in the mall.
Not just any mall, it was a mall in a Phoenix, AZ suburb that I worked at for years IRL and knew like the back of my hand. Once upon a time.
In my dream, I entered the mall and approached the entrance of what used to be the store where I had worked, only to find it had completely changed.
It was now a giant department store–style hair salon. Think: a different mini salon for each haircare brand. It was huge, and a complete maze of colors and sounds and smells… tons of stylists buzzing around while patrons sat in the chairs getting their cut, color, and blow dry.
As I wandered through, quickly realizing this was no longer Nordstrom, I found myself lost in the maze. I looped around, assuming the exit was right around the next corner.
And it never was.
Everyone Started Noticing.
I looped… and I looped… and eventually dream-me realized people had started to notice.
Of course I then noticed them noticing me, which made me walk even faster and look for the exit with a new level of angst.
At one point, a worker who just happened to be Jonathan Van Ness approached me and asked me if they could help me find anything. So embarrassing. I dismissed their offer and kept walking.
But I promise there’s a reason for this story.
Red Lights and a Hard Left.
Once the embarrassment and the continual walking became too much to bear, I remembered that the salon at the entrance was entirely red. Maybe Redken. We’ll never know.
I kept walking until I saw the red signs and lights that had lured me in at the entrance, and took a hard left turn that I hadn’t tried yet.
And voilà! Mall!
The dream goes on with more getting lost, more having to problem solve my way out and down (like sliding down a ramp?) until I finally get to the exit and it’s dark outside.
I wasted the whole day. Lost… confused… and frustrated.
Before waking, dream-me picked up the phone to call my sister.
My daily mall-going shopping-crazed sister.
Who lives riiiight near said mall (also IRL).
Why didn’t I call her earlier?!
And then I woke up.
Okay, But Real Talk.
So, for real. WHY didn’t I call her earlier?
Why didn’t I let JVN help me find the exit?
Why didn’t I ask one of the dozens of stylists for help?
Why did I avert my eyes when people looked at me instead of leaning into their curiosity and ask for help?
I could have saved hours of in-dream exhaustion, frustration, and overstimulation.
I could have spent the day shopping and getting myself a little treat instead of circling around the hair salon from hell.
If it sounds like I’m reading into this too much, it’s because I am. Dream interpretation happens to be a special interest of mine.
But real-world me is guilty of this same behavior.
Why Is Asking for Help So Hard?
Asking for help can be so hard.
Maybe we’ve been let down too many times, or felt like a burden asking in the first place. Or maybe we’ve asked and been let down when we don’t get our needs met by the person we trusted with that support.
Whatever the reason, if going it alone has been your style, there will likely come a day when you realize how much has been sacrificed in the name of independence.
How many extra hours have you spent tweaking your website copy (again) or wrestling with a tech thing you “should” be able to figure out, when you could’ve asked for feedback or handed it off to someone who actually enjoys that stuff?
You Can Always Take a Hard Left.
If you’ve been looping the salon alone for a while, I get it.
But you don’t have to keep wandering in circles.
Whether you want someone to walk beside you and help carry the load (👋 hi, that’s me) or you're craving a low-pressure place to ask questions and be witnessed by folks who get it… that’s exactly why I do what I do, and why I’m building this community.
Because asking for help shouldn’t feel so hard.
And you deserve your own “call my sister” moment, too.
If you’re ready for some support, whether it’s a quick fix or something deeper, I’m here.
Or if you just want to be in a space where asking feels easier, that’s what the community is for. It’s free to join.
AI note
I love letting you know when I’ve had help from AI, because it might help you, too. Tools like ChatGPT aren’t about replacing ourselves (or our copywriter friends). They’re about supporting the parts of the process that feel harder.
In this post, AI helped me:
Explore tone options for a tricky paragraph
Clean up transitions without rewriting my ideas
