Are we avoiding social media?
I've been listening to a lot of content lately about being non-reliant on social media. Building a business with streams and exposure and growth that don't hang on posting every day. I love this idea. And I have a slightly unfair vantage point on it, because it's been part of my self-employed system since the very beginning.
I've always been a light user of social media. I've gone through whole stretches of my business with no social presence at all. My first client didn't come from a reel or a lead magnet... she came from an in-person mediumship circle I joined on a whim. So the message that you can’t get reach without your existing network or a wide reach on social just never connected for me.
There's a podcast I've been enjoying. Self-employed host, warm, gentle, forever reassuring you that if you're not on the same page right now, no shade, no judgment. I'm a fan of her approach and her guests have great insights that I’ve really enjoyed. So this isn't a takedown.
But something in a recent episode caught my ear, and I want to sit with it out loud.
The episode was about branding and the use of social media for businesses. Great conversation, I learned things, I'm trying some of them. Host and guest shared the same sentiment: we don't want to be reliant on social media, and we don't want to be users of tools whose values don't match our own.
The guest was direct about it. Named Meta a specific company they couldn't support and wouldn’t engage with. Values, practices, all of it. Fair. I agree.
And then, a few minutes later, the same guest walked through where they go when they need something online.
For news: Threads.
To unwind: Instagram for gardening tips and the cute animal videos.
To stay connected after meeting someone at a coffee shop, another platform where they follow each other.
Every one of those is social media. Two of them are Meta platforms.
So here's the thing I noticed.
The headline is "get off social media, it's toxic, and don’t participate in the attention economy.” And the reality is, a full personal life lived across those same platforms.
Maybe they've stopped dancing on reels. Maybe they're not posting themselves at all anymore. But the message and the behavior are two different animals, and only one of them makes the title.
I want to be clear... I don't think this person is being sneaky. The episode was made with love and a real genuine desire to help other self-employed people live run a business in alignment with their values. That's kind of why it stuck with me. Because if you're listening casually, half-working, mug in hand, you walk away with a flat version of a very nuanced idea. Get off social media. Full stop.
And that flat version feeds something a lot of us (especially neurodivergents) already fight: all-or-nothing thinking.
That to be off social media for your business, you have to be off social media entirely. That following someone on Substack somehow doesn't count, or somehow does, depending on which rule you're trying to keep. Both things can be true at the same time.
You can build a business that doesn't lean on the feed and still keep the apps that bring you people, news, gardening tips, a laugh.
Where you draw the line is up to you to decide.
And you draw it from your own values, not from a headline.
Here's mine. I won't get rid of my social media, because I've found people there I never would have met otherwise. Real relationships with real people that aren’t just happening in the comments section.
That's the same argument people use to push me toward becoming a content creator, by the way. "Why aren't you making videos? Think how many more people you'd reach." And for some businesses, that's exactly right. A small-ticket lead into a high-ticket offer, a funnel that hums. Beautiful system. Works.
It's just not my metric. High volume isn't my goal. I'm not trying to exponentially fill a funnel. I can be more of a consumer than a creator and still get the kind of success I'm after. Someone else's goals will point them somewhere completely different, and that's the whole point.
Which brings me back to the thing under all of this. When you see the headline, the podcast title, the subject line... go past it. It's almost always more nuanced than "just don't use social media and find another way." There are surprisingly many ways to succeed without leaning on the feed. That's a whole other post.
But it starts with knowing your own success metrics. Your goals. Your values. And I don't mean your personal purpose, the big why-you're-here stuff. I mean the business one. What did you take, an idea, a skill, a knack, and turn into a business... and what was the point of doing that? Free hours in your day. More money than a paycheck would give you. Time at home with your kids. The freedom to work from anywhere.
When you know that, and you know your own wiring, your chart, your neurotype, the kinds of decisions that keep you steady... you get to make calls from that place. Your compass. Not someone else's idea of what business is supposed to look like.
So the next time a headline tells you the one right way, you get to ask the only question that matters here. Says who? 🤗
Would a guidebook help?
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